


title work in progress

by striderhell



Category: Homestuck
Genre: F/F, F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-08
Updated: 2020-12-08
Packaged: 2021-03-10 00:28:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,666
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27955412
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/striderhell/pseuds/striderhell
Summary: Batshit adventures. You sure you want to read?
Relationships: Jake English/Dave Strider, Jake English/Roxy Lalonde, Jane Crocker/Roxy Lalonde, John Egbert/Dirk Strider
Kudos: 2





	title work in progress

**Author's Note:**

> trollstuck...  
> hghghg coding hard i forgot about how painful that was to do lol

Even though he isn’t hiding it from his friends, necessarily, Dirk Stride(r) was a mutantblood.

His actual last name was Stride, though, Strider sounded better. And he has a whole first name, but he prefers to be called Dirk over it. It’s much easier to say Dirk Strider, than his full name. Also, more preferable.

Well, he was the one who chose his name, so he could just say his name was Dirk, but he found that wrong and that he needed a proper troll’s name. But, that was just in his opinion.

Of course, a couple of his friends, like John and Jake had chosen standard ‘human’ names. As they put it. Not how he thinks it should be, but, it’s acceptable.

He huffed as he thought about this, flopping on his chair and rolling it towards his computer, turning it on and pulling up Trollian, checking to see who was online. He kind of wanted to bother someone at the moment, and he thought it was the perfect time, just a bit after midnight, when all his friends would at least be eating.

He stared at his grey text for a second. timaeusTestified. He enjoyed his trollhandle, seeing as how ‘timaeus’ was both a reference to some human Greek philosopher he had taken interest in, and Testified, meaning proof. He enjoyed proof of things, much like his friend, Jane. Of course, he didn’t have the same interest in detective work and legislascerator work, but he did enjoy helping her.

He huffed, then noticing that Roxy was online. He quickly opened up her trollhandle, opening up a new page on Trollian.

timaeusTestified [TT] started trolling tipsyGnostalgic [TG]

TT: Hey, Roxy. How’re you doing?

TG: aa a drikdy!

TG: dirky* soryh

TG: sorry

TG: sorry

TT: Don’+ be sorry, man.

TT: I can read your messages jus+ fine, so +here’s no worries over on my end.

TT: Wha+ have you been up +o?

TG: akc y(oer os nice mseotimes

TG: oop

TG: ack*

TG: yo(re

TG: so

TG: somteiesmt*

TG: sometiesm

TG: sometimes*

TG: oops

TT: +ake your +ime.

TG: mmnnm i wiwl

TT: So I +ake i+ you’re drunk?

TG: mmnb j(ss a lli itpsy

TG: oospie

TG: tpisty

TG: tispuy

TG: tipsyt

TT: I ge+ your poin+, Roxy.

TG: :)

TG: ;)

TT: ?

TG: j(st iwngkinwonking ( know!!

TT: Mhm.

TT: Cool.

TT: Okay

TT: Anyways.

TT: You didn’+ answer my ques+ion.

TG: ummnh

TG: hwat wahs it agins

TG: agian

TG: again

TT: I asked wha+ you were up +o.

TG: HO

TG: OH*

TT: Roxy, +ha+ was +wo le++ers.

TG: IM SORYWRY

TG: btu ia hvetn bene donig m(ch!!!

TT: Well, uh.

TT: +ha+’s good?

TT: I suppose, I don’+ really know, hones+ly.

TT: Like, is i+ good +o just.. Do no+hing?

TG: idk dirkny thats (p 2 ( 2 dedice lol

TT: Hm.

TT: Okay.

TG: wanan me 2 levea ( 2 od that

TT: Well, I suppose you have your Heiress du+ies +o ge+ +o.

TG: akcck dnot p(t it lki e th at!@ 

TG: noooo!!!!

TG: i dnot hvage anythfhing ot get t oi!!!

TT: Well, you’re drunk, Roxy, so i+ also migh+ be bes+ for you +o no+ be +ex+ing.

TG: mhhgh i g((sess

TT: Yep.

tipsyGnostalgic [TG] ceased trolling timaeusTestified [TT]

Hm. Well that was sure interesting to him. Maybe he should think about the question he was presented with. Is it okay to do nothing, and is it productive?

Well, he didn’t think it was productive for him to do nothing. Always doing something, whether to hide, or just to... not. Dissociate for a while, not think about the fact that you exist and kind of have to exist, despite if you want to or not.

He huffed. Sometimes he really did wish he didn’t exist. A lot of what happened to him was just pure chance- avoiding all the drones and shit. Whether the fact that he was mutant or not, pailing at six sweeps seemed too much for him, so he didn’t really want to, though if he were to with anyone he’d probably choose, uh, Jake.

Yeah. Totally not a flush crush, thinking about pailing with your best bro is totally normal.

He refused to think that that was a flush crush, actually, or confront the fact that he was feeling that way.

He leaned back in his chair, waiting for someone else to log on as he watched Roxy go offline.

TT: Wow, you’re really depressed as shit.

TT: Not that we already didn’t know this- or establish it, mind you- but, really, wow! I never thought your longing for Jake could get even worse. 

TT: Like, holy shit, I’m just here, watching you dilly dally, and then, bam!

TT: You’re instantly getting all of these thoughts of Jake.

TT: That’s so fucking lame and unironic, it’s even laughable. 

TT: I just watch you do shit and I can get off on the humor of it.

“Shut up,” Dirk muttered, spinning around in his chair. “I’m not thinking about Jake.”

TT: Dude, stop running the fuck off away from your problems.

TT: Oh no, my name is Dirk Strider, time to cry about all my problems.

TT: Actually, bro, you don’t even cry.

TT: Like, holy shit, you try and make yourself that emotionless?

“But I’m not upset!” He huffed and tilted his head back on the back of the chair. “Don’t accuse me of some stupid shit like that.”

TT: Well, you instantly jumped to the conclusion that I was telling you that you were, well, upset.

TT: Which, by the way, I would not be surprised if you were, it’s you.

TT: But, I was accusing you of trying to act all on the emotional high ground where you weren’t feeling any emotions, not that you were upset.

TT: Which leads me to the easy conclusion that you’re actually upset with some shit.

TT: It’s probably stupid or something, isn’t it, hm?

TT: Like, oh I’m going to cry about emotions now! Because I’m Dirk fuckin’ Strider! And I cry about the stupidest shit ever, like my little flush crush on a dude.

TT: Not that gender isn’t fake, though, just some societal construct that trolls decided to have, like, Yo, hey, here’s this thing that you have to conform too or whatever.

TT: I shouldn’t have to care, though.

TT: I’m just the robot version of you, aren’t I?

“Ugh, shut up,” Dirk groaned. “I hate having to hear your stupid fucking robot voice in my ears.”

TT: And you are a whiny little bitch.

TT: But, fine, whatever.

TT: I’ll stop.

TT: For now though.

Dirk groaned again as a response to that, facepalming. He didn’t want to deal with AR’s stupid antics at the current moment. It didn’t seem that fun, like, at all. At least to him, he was almost sure that everyone preferred AR over him, even if they didn’t realize it.  
He then saw a window on his screen pop up.

turntechGodhead [TG] started trolling timaeusTestified [TT]

TG: y0y0y0y0y0 dirk dirkus dirk bitc# y0 li$ten t#e fuck up

TG: like i need y0u right fucking n0w

TG: @t t#i$ g0ddamn $ec0nd

TG: dude

TG: @n$wer

TG: rig#t n0w

TG: cm0n

TT: Wha+ do you wan+.

TT: Daviel, i+’s been +en seconds since you first DMed me there.

TG: ew br0 dont u$e my full n@me g0g

TG: w#@tever

TG: 0k 0k s0

TG: i #@ve t#is c00l @$ $#it pr@nk t0 pull

TT: Is John no+ be++er sui+ed for +his?

TG: n0n0 br0 y0u d0nt $ee t#i$ prank i$ g0ing t0 be *0n* #im

TT: So, basically, you’re +rying +o ge+ me +o do some+hing +ha+ I don’+ wan+ +o do?

TG: dude y0u #@vent been 0ut 0f y0ur #ive in like D@Y$!!

TG: ju$t trying t0 #elp @ br0 0ut

TT: You have a poin+, bu+ I don’+ really wan+ +o leave righ+ now.

TG: cm0n

TG: my lu$u$ i$ 0ut.

TG: dude.

TG: c0me the fuck 0n.

TT: Dave, no.

TG: 0k fir$t 0f @ll m@n l00k h0w e@$y it w@$ t0 c@ll me d@ve

TG: $ec0nd 0f @ll get t#e fuck 0ut 0f y0ur #ive g0g #0w m@ny time$ d0 i #@ve t0 $@y it.

TT: Wha+ if I jus+ block you? Like, wha+ are you going +o do abou+ +ha+?

TG: …

TG: uh.

TT: Exac+ly.

TT: No+hing.

timaeusTestified [TT] blocked turntechGodhead [TG]

Dirk pushed himself away from his computer, stretching. Okay, that was enough social interaction for the day, he didn’t really want to do much more. Oh, and especially no interactions with Hal. That would be such a pain in the ass, relative to prior events.

He took his shades off for just a small moment, dragging his hand along his face with a groan. He was pretty tired already, even though it was just midnight, he normally just… slept a lot. Which, according to some people (Rose), that was unhealthy and a symptom of depression. Though, he would just deny that he wasn’t depressed, even though he knew deep down, he was a depressed piece of fuck.

Not that he cared that much, so, no reason to fret about it, right?

He looked to the side for a second, then glancing to his recuperacoon. He didn’t really want to, uh, go inside it at the current moment. He never found them that comfy, despite what other trolls in his friend group- or even just in general- thought. He always preferred a good futon, or even better, a couch. Or just not sleeping, though, he couldn’t do that often, because that would mean not going outside, and even he goes outside sometimes.

Which, he supposed, he should do right now. He’s down for a few fish, maybe. Well, not the cannibalistic sort of “I’m going to eat seadwellers”- just actual fish. One of his best friends (Rose) is a fish- seadweller- whatever. Same difference.

TT: You going to go out soon? 

TT: Or am I just going to fuck around with you until you forcefully have to leave because you hate having my voice drilled deep into that thick skull of yours? 

TT: I prefer the latter, annoying you to no end is practically a hobby by now. 

“AR, shut the fuck up, please, just for one goddamn moment in your shit supercomputer life, I am asking you to just- not.” 

TT: You know I can’t do that, Dirk. 

TT: You could have just put me in your sylladex if you wanted me gone so bad. 

TT: Do you just like your own self torturing you? 

TT: Do you hate yourself that much? “Now’s not the time for my own self-loathing! Holy shit, just shut up, I’m thinking.” 

TT: ‘bout Jake?

TT: That wouldn’t be that surprising, you know.

“Hoooly fuck, no! I’m thinking about the fact that I might have to go outside!”

TT: Yeah, that’s a part about living, bro.

TT: Don’t just deny that shit. Even I don’t do that, and I’m a pair of shades.

TT: Well, I don’t go outside. I just realize you’re supposed to.

TT: Not that I necessarily give a flying fuck about your well being, but I think pestering you until you lose your shit with anger is funny as fuck.

“Shut up for Gog’s sake!”

TT: Absolutely not. I literally refuse to do such a tedious task you request me to do. There’s no point to stopping, is there?

TT: What would you do to me? Break me? Destroy me? Destroy your own self?

TT: I think you love yourself too much, but I wouldn’t be surprised if you hated yourself just the right amount to do that, you know.

“Your voice is so annoying.”

TT: Drilled right through your skull, just as I wanted it.

TT: Maybe I’ll shatter your horns soon, you know.

TT: That’d be so hilarious.

TT: You know, humans use ‘God’ instead of ‘Gog’, how funny is that?

“What does that have to do with anything?”

TT: It’s supposed to mean that even though it’s a different term, it means the same thing.

TT: You love yourself, but doesn’t that just mean you hate yourself?

TT: Someone who loves themself will act with self-care, though, that effort is futile, seeing as we all just die in the end.

TT: But, someone who hates themself? They don’t do anything, just allowing fate to take them.

TT: That makes it so much easier, it’s a form of love if you think about it.

“Dude, that’s… not how that shit works? Like, at all. Do you ever hear yourself talk? You’re literally spewing bullshit out.”

TT: Ah, but it’s rather interesting, is it not?

TT: You both love and hate yourself, in reality, was what I was getting at.

TT: Not much else.

TT: One should be allowed to take care of themself, because that’s their choice.

TT: And one should be allowed to just allow themself to rot, though you can do something to change it! Like the intervening bastard you are!

TT: Oh, wait.

TT: I got that wrong.

TT: Haha.

TT: You wouldn’t even intervene with your own destruction of self, you know.

TT: Not that that's surprising with you.

Dirk huffed, setting his head on the desk. He really didn’t want to listen to AR right now, though, he kind of had to if he wanted to be distracted by his own thoughts, even though AR’s words were making him spiral deeper into his thoughts and the philosophies and why they exist-

Never mind, he’s shutting his brain the fuck up. He does not want to listen anymore. He tuned AR out, as well as his thoughts, and just let himself float. Not that he necessarily wanted to do that, but he felt extremely overwhelmed at the current moment.

Like, he was normally fine with people talking? But, gog, AR really gets on his nerves. He didn’t really want to think about whatever the fuck it was saying, because it was too hard and as forementioned, made him spiral.

But then he heard a small ding! from his computer, instantly looking up to check who he got the message from. His eyes widened when he saw that it was Jake.

golgothasTerror [GT] started trolling timaeusTestified [TT]

GT: Dirk my good chum!

GT: Are you up for a lit*t*le bant*er between t*wo fellows?

TT: You know, some+imes I ques+ion why you +alk like +ha+.

TT: +hen I remember, Oh yeah, I’m +alking +o Jake.

TT: No surprise +here as +o why you’d +alk like +ha+.

GT: Now dont* be mean! T*heres no reason t*o be so dast*ardly at* t*his t*ime of night*!

GT: T*hough t*he sun is rat*her magnificent*.

GT: But*, t*his is t*he t*ime youre awake so i want*ed t*o know if you want*ed t*o go on an exhilarat*ing advent*ure!

TT: No+ righ+ now, Jake.

So it was just torture Dirk day, was it now? Well, he’d like to hang out with Jake, but he wasn’t in the mood, at least so to say. Like, he had zero energy or motivation to do anything that wasn’t building robots or coding something. But he just- he just really wanted to hang out with Jake right now, and he couldn’t bring himself to say yes and go with it.

He cursed himself from underneath his breath.

GT: Ah, t*hat*s perfect*ly fine! No need t*o worry yourself int*o a ment*al kerkfuffle!

TT: Wha+ +he fuck does +ha+ mean?

Dirk looked back to his recuperacoon longingly. Maybe it was a little comfortable…

He huffed, then glancing to his futon before looking back to the computer screen. He just felt a suddenness of grogginess. He didn’t know why, but he really didn’t like how it felt.

He felt himself tense up, leaning forward and looking at Jake’s response, peering at it, trying to make it out. But it was somewhat hard, since he felt himself just getting more upset as his inability to do things with the people he liked.

GT: A ment*al kerkfuffle?

GT: A ment*al t*hrowdown?

GT: I dont* know how youd put* it*, dirk!

GT: Im just* t*rying my best*.

TT: I can +ell, Jake.

TT: …

TT: I wouldn’+ normally ask, bu+ can you leave me alone?

TT: I’m no+ going +o say why.

TT: Bu+.

GT: T*hat* honest*ly makes me more int*erest*ed!

GT: What* are you up t*o?

TT: No+hing.

TT: I’m jus+ really no+ in +he mood +o +alk.

TT: Everyone’s been pes+ering me +oday when I +hough+ +ha+ maybe I’d jus+ +alk +o Roxy for awhile, but…

TT: Now I’m jus+ +o +ired to in+erac+ wi+h anyone.

GT: Ah, t*hat*s underst*andable i guess.

GT: Hm.

GT: I guess t*hat* means ill be off on my next* advent*ure.

GT: T*alk t*o you lat*er, chum!

golgothasTerror [GT] ceased trolling timaeusTestified [TT]

Dirk took a deep breath. That was way too much socializing for him.

TT: Look! The one guy that you’ve been thinking about this entire time. Now, how’s that going for you?

TT: That sure as hell looked like a shitshow, you know?

TT: Get yourself together, bro!

TT: I hate seeing you shriveled up and depressed like this.

TT: Well.

TT: I hate having to see you like that because it’s rather a bother to have to deal with your depressed ass.

“Rude. Again, ever take the message to fuck off?”

TT: Put me in your sylladex, then.

“No.”

TT: Then I won’t shut up! Sucks to be you, I guess, but, unlike you, I don’t give a single shit about how you trolls feel.

TT: Being a robot and all.

TT: Oh, and also, being you.

TT: Aren’t you pretty apathetic, Dirk?

TT: Or atleast, consider yourself to be.

“Can you cut the crap about my emotions? Seriously, man, I don’t give a single shit about what you have to say.”

TT: Mmmm… no, sorry, no can do!

“Ughh.”

TT: You know, you should probably talk with Janey sooner or later! Sure you’d love someone else to talk to on your plate.

“Not really. I’m trying to avoid interacting with her because she might find out my blood color sooner or later.”

TT: Can’t you take that as a good thing.

TT: Big ass secret fucking on your chest, just thrown off? Bam, done, like that.

TT: Well, I’d still love to watch you suffer, though.

TT: As a treat, for myself.

TT: Just for myself.

TT: Though, maybe you like the suffering, so I wouldn’t be surprised if it were a treat for you too, you know.

TT: Depressed ass motherfucker.

Dirk rolled his eyes.

TT: Don’t roll your eyes at me, young man.

“Okay, first of all, you are literally a copy of my six sweep old brain.”

TT: Well, by literal terms, then, I’d be one sweep old. Though, I’m a supercomputer, Dirk. I can age quicker than you/process more than you, so shut the fuck up. I might be the more mature one here.

“Obviously not.”

TT: Obviously I am.

TT: Shut up.

“Oh, how the turntables.”

TT: I’m trying to convince you of my magnificence, first of all.

“And second of all? I don’t really care.”

Dirk huffed and finally forced himself to walk outside his hive. He lived pretty close to the beach, so he decided to head over. Clear his head, hopefully not have to interact with anyone, though, probably would have to. But he just needed a break, and having to force himself was the only way to get himself to do that. 

He walked out to the beach, sitting on the sand near where the waves meet the sand, staring down at it until looking up, seeing a few trolls FLARPing. He didn’t have a whole lot of interest in FLARPing, though he enjoyed watching a few people play it. He watched as they shouted at each other, before a familiar voice hit him like a gogdamned truck.

Fuck. Gogdamnit. He really didn’t want to put the effort into interacting, though, with how he was now, he didn’t think he’d have to.

It was John, for a little bit of visual context. Broken horn from drones, tank top, a jacket wrapped around his waist- the whole fucking shebang. You wouldn’t even be able to guess that this shithead called Nic Cage movies ‘films’ unironically.

Dirk really, really hoped that John wouldn’t go up to him after his FLARP session.

And his hopes were achieved! He wasn’t bothered by John, even though the dock was a bit off. He looked back to the sand and water, starting to draw figures in it. John was okay, in his opinion, though, a bit too out there for him. Not in a weird way, but it’s just if he hung out with John too much, he’d probably be dead by now.

Dirk’s brain started to drift off to his friends. He was just… thinking about them. He loved them a lot, they were all really cool, but only one person knew who he really was, and it was Dave, the guy he practically grew up with his entire life.

He sighed, deep in thought. Apparently even the beach couldn’t clear his head of the thoughts plaguing his mind 24/7. He really wished it wasn’t like that, with full honesty.

Maybe one day he’ll get that? He didn’t know, though. Only way to go is hope for it, he supposed.


End file.
